But it doesn’t matter, because, men weren’t taught to value an equal partner by society.
They weren’t taught to value someone who’s going to offer constructive criticism, and be the partner that’s going to take them to the next level.
This is illustrated by two terms: trophy wife and used goods.
The second important reason is gender conditioning, specifically hegemonic masculinity, more or less meaning dominance over women. They are supposed to be tough, not back down from challenges, not sissies, and a whole host of other things, but here’s the kicker: hegemonic masculinity was never meant for black men.
If you are not a young, wealthy, white man, then hegemonic masculinity is not for you, in theory or practice. So they are being actively taught and subscribing to hegemonic masculinity when hegemonic masculinity was never meant for them.
We have no choice but to demand what is ours and to speak up on our own behalf; because, we are not typically seen as the ideal woman or ideal person deserving of anything; we have to work.
We are not seen as something to work for like other women. We don’t match the profile and we couldn’t if we wanted to.
Hegemonic masculinity is designed to craft a particular kind of man, and after all, a black man is just a boy under the patriarchy. So the Patriarchy Hegemonic masculinity = Black men trying to be a particular kind of man, aspiring to very specific goals that are all covered in hegemonic masculinity.