When I first had my surgery, I made the mistake of telling people on the first date. My eight surgeries and my ostomy consumed my life in the beginning and that’s all I had to talk about. Figuring out how to explain it is probably harder than finding the right time to tell someone.
I took time off work to physically heal and put school on hold. Unfortunately, but not surprising, I didn’t hear from any of those men again. Most people I dated had no idea what Crohn’s disease or Ulcerative Colitis was let alone an ostomy. I usually started with “Have you heard of Crohn’s disease or Ulcerative Colitis? I’d get the occasional “yes” and that would make it somewhat easier. Needless to say, very few of the men I dated asked any questions after I told them and many of them, I saw maybe once or twice and then for some reason stopped talking to me.
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It’s been particularly hard since I haven’t been in an intimate relationship with someone since my surgeries.
I was nervous that someone wouldn’t find me sexy with a bag attached to me.
Whether a person desires companionship, active participation in sex, or a serious romance leading to marriage, how one's surgery will be accepted by a potential partner or friend is a normal concern.
Body image is the way we see ourselves in the mirror and like to imagine our appearance.
Well apparently there are good men out there still and I definitely found one.